Daniel Holt - Issue 35

Dan Holt is a singer/songwriter/recording artist, poet and fiction author from a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio. He has produced 11 albums of original music along with various singles and eps. His poetry has been published widely in the online and print small press and he is the author of "Blank Canvas On Bloody Pavement" and "Motel" (both from Alien Buddha press and available on Amazon). He was a Pushcart Prize nominee in 2021.

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Death Wish

He once

rode a motorcycle

to the edge of a cliff

and jumped off

at the last second

before the bike

went flying

to its fiery demise

He once

loaded a single bullet

in the chamber of his gun

and played

Russian roulette

with himself

pulling the trigger

five times before

laughing like a child

on Christmas

He once

cut his wrist with a razor

and just sat there

watching the blood drip

until he was

about to pass out

before calling

an ambulance

He once

took a handful of  pills

washing them down

with whiskey

and then died

in his sleep

Death-wish complete

I Never Wanted To Survive

Waiting for redemption

Expecting condemnation

I can feel the end

Creeping towards me

Like a pool of blood

Praying to a god

I don't believe in

Waste deep

In the wreckage

Of a life not lived

But only survived

There's nothing left

But a rotting carcass

Whose time will never come

An open mouthed skull

Still hoping

For the last word

Close your eyes

And pray the lord

Your soul to bleed

Bless me father

For I have dreamed

I never wanted this

I never wanted

To survive

Thank You

Thank you

for shopping

Feel that dopamine hit

of your warmth and good cheer

Thank you

for being a friend

Feel the glow

of your gregarious nature

Thank you

come again

Feel the kindness

of your appreciation

Thank you for your understanding

Be sincere

even if you're not

Thank you

and goodnight